Saturday, February 23, 2013

Black Eyes and Sacrifice


On Wednesday night I went to the weekly Lent meditation series at Judson Church.  This is week two.  I find it really hard to tell friends etc. that I can’t do things on Wednesdays because I’m “going to church.”  But I walked in this week and there it was, all warm and candle lit again.  The same guy was playing piano.

So, I sit down and start reading the back of the program and it says:

"The "W", or the Gospel of "W", is a living document a compilation by Judson of stories, quotes, and testimonies of bodies, many times "W"omen's bodies, for whom sacrifice and crucifixion are daily realities. We play on the idea of the “Q” (short for the Germen Quelle, or “Source”), which is a hypothetical collection of sayings of Jesus, assumed to be one of the two written sources behind the gospels of Matthew and Luke.  This Lenten season, we use as “text” for reflection the bodies in our midst for whom sacrifice and crucifixion are not just a 40-day religious tradition, but rather they sacrifice and are crucified on a regular basis”


After reading that, I knew I was a goner. Any pretense I had of having my “shit” together was gone.  I’m like a blubbering idiot.  I don’t even know that it has anything to do with God or religion.  It might be the space?  I have no idea.   But the combination of all of that and the fact that we’re going to talk about womens’ bodies had me in tears before they really got into anything. 

We talked about sacrifice.  Not the, I’m sacrificing sugar as a way to fast for 40 days kind of sacrifice, but the “what are you consistently sacrificing.”  I even had to write down on a piece of paper the “sacrifice [I] all too often make.

As an artist this question is HUGE!   Some days I feel like I’ve given up any semblance of a normal life.  Many things ran through my head.  Like the times I have to temp to pay my bills and that sometimes I spend hours upon hours of my life working for companies doing work I would much rather spend my life fighting.  In some ways sacrificing my morals in order to be an artist to not be an artist.  That was a huge one.  It’s not what I wrote down, but it was huge. 

But I did think, now we’re getting down to business, this is what church should be like.  It felt personal.  It felt intimate.  It felt like something that really truly mattered deep down inside.  So of course I go and lay my little slip in the bucket and then we stand and pray.  The ritual laying down of this sacrifice.  So I’m a blubbering mess and the minister is standing next to me and I don’t want anyone to see me crying.  She did politely seem to overlook that though she did introduce herself to me.  And look me very straight in the eye.  Some people just do that, and that also makes me want to cry.

I think about being a woman a lot.  I think about being a woman in theatre a lot.  I think about what the effect of my career is on my love life and if I’ll have children.  I have no idea how someone lives my life and has children.  I’m not even 100% certain I want them, but if I did meet someone I wanted to have them with, how do you do that?  And since we’re talking about sacrifice, it’s pretty emotional to suddenly think of being a woman and having your period, and all of that as sacrifice, as crucifixion.  But it’s also really hard to think about that and think about sacrificing that for art. 

So I duck out pretty quickly after the service because I’m a little embarrassed by the deluge of tears.  On my way down the street I text Emily and said something about “you’ll never believe what they talked about in this service – womens bodies in relation to sacrifice and crucifixion.”  No more than two minutes later I walk on to the platform at West Fourth street deep in thought and a man rushes past/toward me and before I know it, he has elbowed me in the face, right on the edge of my eyebrow.  I cried out in pain as I doubled over grabbing my rapidly swelling brow. I was only barely aware enough to notice that he didn’t stop to see what happened.  A very kind woman sort of stood me up and made sure I wasn’t bleeding, and a couple guys on the platform said “Shit man, he didn’t even stop to say he was sorry.”   How one manages to accidentally elbow someone in the face like that remains to be seen, but I was pretty shaken up.  I was also flabbergast as the words sacrifice and crucifixion floated through my half functioning brain.  

My entire evening was derailed, it’s pretty hard to think about much else when there is a searing pain in your head, and when your body feels like it’s been beaten.

There was more metaphor in that combination of events than I knew what to do with.  As a woman, as an artist, a lot of life is getting beat up by people who may or may not notice the blow they’ve dealt you.  There’s a lot of getting up day after day even when you’re black and blue and your brow is swollen, and just going for it over and over again. That night my reality really was that I got decked in the face and it hurt like a (insert explitives here).  I didn’t choose that. There are a lot of sacrifices and crucifixions I don’t choose.  But there are some that as they said I “sacrifice all too often.”  It’s important to know that, you can’t always stand up straight after a blow to the head.  It’s important to honor that, to give yourself time and space to heal.  It’s also important to take the time to see where I’m in control of the sacrifice, and how I can go about laying it down. 

I think part of why I don’t always want people to know that I’m religious or at least on some sort of spiritual journey is that I am afraid that they will associate that with my not being able to think for myself.  But on Wednesday, I really did need to think about what I sacrifice.  In fact, I go to church so I CAN think.  It is a space where I find amazing clarity and where I can think about the world from a totally different angle.  Obviously if it’s making me cry every week something is working.  God is a huge concept. As is Jesus.  I’m struggling with that.  But one of the amazing things about Judson is that they talk about the principles of Christianity using things like the “the bodies in our midst” as text.  I feel like even if I decided I didn’t believe in God at all that I would be comfortable there.  I really like going to Church actually.  Go figure.

So what about you?  What sacrifice do you all too often make?

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